do you remember when you said I couldn’t do it?
well, I sure showed you.
I left that life of living on the edge,
one step ahead,
of dying–
figuring out ways to breathe
with a razorblade
and sacrificing sleep for what I am “supposed to do.”
Sluggishly categorizing each trauma
before then and after
as if time can heal all
the heaviness of boots
soles walked through
do you remember that time you texted me a 1-800-DEPRESSION line?
and I poured Baileys and tears
into my morning coffee
instead of responding
because fuck you
for living that life of checkboxes
that limit
the possibilities
that lie outside the realm you know
do you remember that time you took credit for my happiness?
as if I didn’t lose skin and teeth
and my virginity
dragging my way up the hill
promising myself better
trying to succeed in sweet relief and rest
from living in survival mode
hoping for a fresh start
craving the inspiration to create
with what I already have,
and transform.
Away We Go 