Love Letter to Myself

This was inspired by reading Stacy Bias‘ blog post about writing a love letter to yourself… which I write more about being body positive, here.

Amanda,
Hippie, Free Spirit, Daughter, Activist, Friend, Lover, Advocate, Survivor, Body, Queer, Traveler, Human, Student, the list goes on,
but sometimes you don’t know who you are when you look in the mirror.

That small voice in your head?
The negative one…
yeah, that one.
Tell it to be still.

You are beautiful.

You are strong and motivated. You can see that in those bags under your eyes from losing sleep over how you can be more of an activist. There’s always more to do and be and think and see, but you are doing everything you can do. 

You are strong and motivated. You can see that in your tired legs and big, beautiful thighs that are more muscled from biking daily. To the ridiculous saying of thunder thighs you decide to dance in the rain.

You are strong and motivated. You can see that in your odd tan line that speaks of sundresses from playing at the park while nannying. Because you know that tanning booths are dangerous and being pale in the winter is honestly earned, just as your uneven lines in the summer are hard-fought-for.

You are heartfelt and inspiring. You can see that in your tummy, your “pooch” as your sister called it when you were barely 14. She wanted to get rid of hers and so did you, but now, you know that sucking in is kind of ridiculous. Because your tummy is you and you are your tummy. It’s even fucking cute.

You are heartfelt and inspiring. You can see that in your boobs that you are so proud of, wearing your low-cut shirts, because you like the distraction from what other flaws you are afraid you have. You don’t have them. be still, small and critical voice, stay small.

You are heartfelt and inspiring. You can see that in your tanned-over scars on your legs that remind you daily of depression and how you overcame it, welcome it, challenge it, and say fuck you, I am waking up and walking out this door anyway. 

you are beautiful

in the tears you cry on the floor
in the words you write silently
in the songs you sing in the shower
in the love you make with your partner

You will not apologize for your body, just as you will not apologize for the work you do, for the supportive community you want to create.

You are more than your body image and your body image is more than just a body. You choose your image, Amanda, you choose you; you do you.